Of course my dog has an Instagram account.
Of course she does.
When the rescue organizations were [heavily] vetting me to become a dog mom, my friends were telling them that my future dog was going to live a spoiled existence. Toys and play and treats and photo shoots would ensue. My dog was sure to get her own Instagram account, they said.
Until I did.
My dog has an Instagram account where I manage her friendships with other dogs, if you want to know where I’ve been spending my time.
— Quirky Chrissy (@quirky_chrissy) August 30, 2018
Of course I did.
And then it was time for Nia’s spay surgery. And
she we I decided that she was going to diary the cone life. It’s been a rocky two weeks, but I think the pup is going to be A-okay. At the very least, she’s going to have one hell of a happy life.
The day of the spay was horrible for me. One of my worst days. I was already going into this with SERIOUSLY conflicting feelings. I know that she’s essentially better off being spayed early, but I couldn’t help anthropomorphizing her soon-to-be inability to have children. And then they called me after she came out of anesthesia.
Apparently, Nia shows a number of signs of being a distemper survivor, including weak enamel on her teeth, tremors, head bobbles, and now, seizures (well, seizure, singular). The vet says that as long as she seems happy and healthy, we just need to keep an eye on the symptoms and take extra good care of her teeth.
Day 3: This is my life now. The cone is never coming off. Mom tells me, “Chin up!” when we go up the stairs, but I’m not sure what she means. This cone is the worst on stairs. And when I have itches. And when I want to play with my toys. Basically, it’s just the worst. Mom also keeps giving me spoonfuls of peanut butter and singing about medicine going down. I just know that I love peanut butter. And also, I’m very sleepy… Zzzzzzz
Day 3 was the last day of being remotely sleepy. None of the sedatives worked for our lil pup. So we had to manage her insanity with constant vigilance and baby gates.
Day 4: It was looking pretty bleak last night. Mom disappeared for several hours. Dad and I managed. But barely. Mom and Dad have both resorted to more frequent walks, which are, quite honestly, my only respite from this torturous experience. Who the heck is Bob Barker anyway? Send Kongs full of peanut butter. Stat.
The peace didn’t last long, though, because Nia decided that she could do anything with or without the cone.
Day 5: I think it’s going well. I’m adjusting to life in the cone. Unfortunately, Mom keeps stopping me from reaching my full cone agility potential. Every time I think I’m about to master one of my favorite moves, she STOPS me! All I want to do is jump on and off the couch, bounce like Tigger, and catch that damn bunny! I feel like she’s out to get me.
Thank God for baby gates (something I swear I said I would never use).
She’s definitely my puppy because I love perching just as much as she does.
Day 7: Mom keeps hugging me and saying she’s so glad she adopted me. I heard her mention #nationaldogday or something like that. Whatever. I’m still in doggy hell over here. No one will let me zoomies. I just wanna run and jump. They let me play with toys, but I’m getting bored with the same ones. Send toys.
We actually had to take away some of her toys because of her teeth. She loved chewing on the hard toys, but no dice anymore on those. Soft and squishy only now. I think I’ve noticed the difference in the way she chomps on my hand.
I took away the cheap flip flop, and then she annihilated my Roxy flip flops. How’s that for vengeance?
Day 9: I was THIS CLOSE to getting a whole night in the bed with Mom and Dad. They got home late, which woke me up so it was play time. Dad went to bed and Mom played with me until I finally gave up and went to snuggle with Dad. We were all snoozing comfortably for a while when Mom stopped snoring, got up, and made me sleep in my kennel! So now I’m exhausted and catching some Zs on the floor.
Day 10: VICTORY IS MINE! Mom and Dad woke up to a surprise this morning: Dad’s alarm. They forgot to nudge me to my kennel, so I slept in their bed all night long. I made sure not to wake them as I slowly creeped up to the pillows, snuggling my cone on Mom. If only they’d let me sleep there all the time.
Day 12: I’m so conflicted. Dad made me wear the cone again last night. Then he left me alone to wallow. He came back with Mom, and I got so comfy up by the pillows of the bed when Mom scooped me up to sleep in the kennel again. When I woke up, Dad took off the cone, but Mom won’t get out of bed because she’s still wearing her weird nose cone. I just wanna play!
Even I’m ready for the cone to be over.