Well, fair readers, it’s official. I no longer live in the home of Wayne and Garth. Goodbye Aurora, Illinois. Hello suburban town MUCH  closer to civilization.

We moved this Saturday. Brian and I were lucky to have Anna, Cletus,  Mark, and one of Brian’s pals to help us move.

The Trouble with U-Haul

It all started bright and early…as Brian and I had to drive 30 miles to pick up the U-Haul. This pissed him off immensely, considering we lived 5 minutes from a U-Haul location. He wanted to just go into the one near us and demand a truck. I called and they didn’t have one available…in any size. So we sucked it up and drove to the south suburbs. I asked if we had to pay extra for mileage. He didn’t know. He didn’t seem pleased with the question answer portion of our morning, so I stopped talking…and started texting Cletus to request his assistance.

Once we arrived at U-Haul, I told Brian that I was coming in. He looked at me with a Please don’t. You’ll only embarrass me. So I hopped out of the car with a shit-eating grin on my face. We walked in and I immediately informed the guy that we were not pleased with the 30 mile drive that we had to take. And I asked if mileage was included. 30 miles. Fuck. That. I told him that I wanted an extra 30 miles added to cover our drive time to the house. He made several suggestions on how to maybe save money, until I told him that we would be traveling about 90 miles that afternoon and he realized the issue. So the amazing and wonderful Eric of U-Haul offered to add as many miles as he could (as a regular employee) at no charge. For the record–it’s 70 miles.

I was prancing around U-Haul waiting for their slow-ass computers to work…and one of the other workers complimented my pullover… My Adidas pullover. She asked the dreaded chick question: “Where did you get it?”

“Um…it was my ex-boyfriend’s?” Yes. The sweatshirt in question belonged to The Bartender.

Heavy Lifting

My boyfriend has this weird belief that girls shouldn’t lift heavy furniture. Regardless of whether or not I used to be able to throw a girl 20 feet in the air…regardless of whether or not I have helped other people move…regardless of whether or not I have helped build festivals and haunted houses…I’m a girl…and he doesn’t trust me to lift furniture. He suggested I manage the Tetris of the moving truck…and unload things to the guys. He just didn’t trust me.

Well, he didn’t. Until he realized that these 3 other guys were rockin’ out and exhausted carrying our ridiculously heavy, but beautiful, furniture through the mazes to get to our new bedroom. And finally…on the last (and heaviest) piece of furniture, he looked at those exhausted men; then he looked at me…and said, “OK, let’s do this.” So I did…with a little help. We loaded the hutch onto the small dolly that they hadn’t really used at all. Brian and I rolled it around to the “front” of our new apartment.

Then, was time to carry it up the double flight of stairs. We got to stair number 2, and I may or may not have had to pause in order to figure out how the hell to best tackle this beast. So we tried another 2 stairs. And Brian, was all like, “OK, Cletus…time to help her out,” and the other two guys jumped in as well…and with a 5-person team lifting this thing up the stairs…we finally got the giant hutch into our bedroom. Maybe I needed a little help, but dammit, I could do it.

 3 Things I Learned from Moving

1. Set up internet and cable BEFORE moving. Like a week before. It takes 3-5 business days for internet stuff to arrive. That’s a lot of days without internet. Lucky for you I wrote this post last night, NOT from my new home.

2. I have a lot of stuff.

3. Brian and I have discussed this. We both feel so much gratitude for the amazing men who helped us. They were amazing. And helpful. And wonderful. But we will try never to make our friends endure this again. I promised Cletus that he would not have to help with the next move.  The next time we move-we’re hiring professionals.