Okay. Maybe I’m alone in this. Maybe I’m like…the worst girl ever. I mean, I don’t typically wear makeup. I think yoga pants are pants. As long as my hair isn’t going to freeze solid, I avoid blow drying my hair and live with it in the messy updo (not because it’s cute, but because I’m lazy).
So when I do these things, I am trying to be a girl, and screw up royally. Regularly. Basically, if it’s on the following list, I’ve done it more than once. Probably more than 10 times. And recently.
Over-clipping my nails
I’m going to spare you the image of my Flinstoes (Fred Flinstone toes) and just explain that sometimes, I feel the need to clip the shit out of my toenails. And somehow they end up WAY more clipped than should be humanly possible. Mostly, to the point of pain. And possibly over-clipped cuticles. And requiring my Mickey Mouse Band-Aids. Thankfully, the last time I did this was a little over a week ago, so by next week, I’ll be okay to go get a pre-Florida pedicure.
Shaving just a bit too quickly
You know how it is in winter when you haven’t shaved in a while. And you certainly haven’t paid attention to those unseen areas: the upper thighs, the random long hairs on your toes, that spot you always miss on your shin, and finally there’s that one day you decide, Dammit. I’ve had enough. And you just want to get it all done. That’s my life every 3-6 months.
So then I’m rapidly moving the blade all over my legs, arms (yes, I shave my arms), hands and feet, because God-forbid we aren’t damn near hairless to impress society—don’t even get me started on how much more surface area shaving is for larger humans—and then I nick the ever-living shit out of my toe, or the back of my thigh, or wrist, or that area right by my Achilles. And it’s not super painful at first, but I’m bleeding like a stuck pig and require Band-Aids. Again.
Cutting my own bangs
Thankfully, this one is a thing of the past for me, but with the popularity of bangs in general these days, I thought it was relevant. Plus, I KNOW you’re dying to go back in time and read my somewhat sad, yet slightly funny childhood bang-cutting experience. It’s okay to laugh. But kids are mean. Anyways, cutting my bangs was something I did from a young age—basically since my mom nicked my forehead with the super sharp bang scissors. And almost every time, I would cut them just a smidge too short. And have to deal with it until they grew out. Can I just say how glad I am to not have bangs?
A Bad Dye Job
You guys, the first time I went red, I seriously had to re-do it (And by re-do it, I mean have my sister come over to my best friend’s apartment, where I was apartment-sitting, and re-dye my hair for me.) It was that bad. Chunks of brown hair had clearly been missed, and the red was not looking too adorable. Eventually, we got it right, but it definitely wasn’t as easy as going blonde. These days I don’t trust myself enough to try. I have a tendency to destroy bathrooms when I dye my hair.
Blog Friends, do you do any of these? Do you do something else that I didn’t mention? Tell me so I don’t feel all alone over here!
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44 Responses
I always seem to nick myself when shaving my legs, so you are a brave woman to shave all over. I only do it when absolutely necessary. Luckily the hair on my legs is light so you can’t see it until it gets pretty long. I’ve also cut my bangs before, but I’ve been threatened by my stylist so I don’t do it any more. It’s a struggle!!
Oh, don’t let it fool you, I still rarely shave. I just always injure self when I do.
I nick the backs of my ankles waaay too often. And forget to pluck my eyebrows for too long, then catch myself in a mirror in good light and realise I look like a cavegirl.
Lol at “cavegirl”
Being a lady is HARD WORK!
Wait, what, I have to *be* a lady? It’s hard enough just trying to LOOK like one! Egads!
Oh, let me clarify. Pretending to be a lady totally counts.
So I’m new to the banging world and I’ve started trimming my own bangs. It’s going well… so far, but I feel like I should probably upgrade to actual hair cutting scissors. So far I’ve used the tiny scissors that come on a pocketknife and dog grooming scissors. Yes, I’m a sexy little minx.
As for fails, um I had this book once on “natural” beauty remedies and decided to try a “natural” recipe for waxing my own legs. I remember it involved boiling water and sugar and some other crap. Well, I spread that shit all over one leg and stuck on a piece of ripped up t-shirt…. and then couldn’t pull the damn thing back off. I ended up having to wash it off in the shower because there was NO WAY IN HELL it was coming off any other way.
1. Definitely, go get hair scissors. Also your bangs are SUPER CUTE.
2.OMG. That sounds SUPER potentially painful. Good call on not following through.
You mean they still make pants that aren’t yoga pants? Why? Why would anyone want to wear any other type of pant?
I’m notorious for over plucking. I mean no eyebrows… I’ve had to put down the tweezer permanently. I have them threaded once a month now.
Yoga pants are the only pants.
I never had the plucking problem, but I have barely-there eyebrows. I pencil that shit in.
I over clip my toenails too. Once I start cutting I just can’t seem to stop. When I go for a pedicure the person always laughs at me and says I have no toenails to cut.
Ha! Yeah, they always say to me, “just file?”
Let’s not EVEN talk about waxing lady parts.
I would NEVER! Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Ugh, nicking the Achilles’s tendon part of your leg. That is the absolute worst. I have found that a higher quality razor seems to help the nicking problem, even when I tend to go too fast. I like the ones with the gel kind of already built in.
As for the bangs, I had some in elementary school, but they don’t really work with curly hair. They took forever to grow out and it is something I’ll never do again, even if it is on trend.
Yes! I will seriously never do bangs again…no matter how trendy.
I was going to dye my hair blonde for my Robin Sparkles costume this Halloween… but I chickened out. I’m a rather light brunette anyway.
Hehe! I bet it would look super cute if you did it…just pay the extra and go to a hairdresser. It’s worth it.
ROBIN SPARKLES?! #Brilliant!
One of the serious downsides of living in Florida is our winter time aka not having to shave is desperately short. My daughter shaves her arms ~ my thoughts = just another way to screw my stuff up LOL
Hahaha. I’m terrible. I shave once a week even in the summer. In the winter…more like monthly.
The only time I shave above the knee is when I think a guy might be close to my thighs, otherwise, ain’t no body got time for that!
I’m proud to say I’ve watched my hairdresser enough times to be confident in trimming my bangs but dying my hair. Hell no! I’ve NEVER trusted myself with that, and probably never will.
Hahahaha! I barely shave above the knee. Brian either doesn’t care or he’s smart enough not to say anything.
For some reason, I hate clipping my toenails. When I do clip them I always overclip. At least it makes it so I don’t have to do it as often. Not a big deal in the winter, but I need to be more careful when I’m wearing summer sandels.
Yup. I almost always overclip. And it hurts.
I can’t seem to shave my legs without cutting myself… Ever. And that one time I bought Nad’s to try and wax my own eyebrows? Let’s just say that won’t be happening ever again!
Dude, that nads shit is PAINFUL!
I tweeze. Not my eyebrows though, because I can’t. So I grow bushy caveman eyebrows and pay someone to wax them for me. I only go every couple of months ’cause I’m lazy and don’t care. But I am one of those wonderful lady’s that gets lip and neck hair. I don’t know why, it sucks and I hate it, but I can spend an hour searching for and yanking out hair. I have a Tweezy, and they LIE. that shit IS painful and it doesn’t work all that great. I’ve tried Nair, it works so-so. I really, and I mean REALLY want one of those No-No things. But alas, 200 dollars for a beauty thingy is beyond me
Omg. I seriously have a tweezing problem! I have hairs on my neck and chin that I tweeze all. The. Time.
I tried home waxing once. It didn’t go well. I’ve regretted it for decades…DECADES.
Oy! Remind me never to try it!
I’m impossible when it comes to painting my own nails. A toddler could probably do a better job.
Hahahaha. I can *sort of* paint my own toenails.
My sister cut her toe nails too short and ended up with blood poisoning – I am sure there is more to this story, like she used a rusted toe nail clipper or something but I keep this in mind when doing toe maintenance. It made our trip to Disney not a lot of fun, however I had fun annoying her and making fun of her – so there’s that.
That sounds absolutely MISERABLE! And to ruin Disney! I’m crying a little bit inside.
Ugh, the cutting of the nails to be too short is the worst. I do force myself to blow dry the hair though (when I actually get around to washing it….) but I’m pretty sure I’ve only tweezed my eyebrows about twice in my life and each time I’ve ended up sneezing and looking like I just watched “A Walk To Remember.”
I love pinning DIY beauty recipes. Only ever made the one….coconut oil & coffee ground body scrub……it was HELL. Yes, my skin was buttery soft for weeks. BUT, I smelled like coffee for months, had grounds falling out of crevices and I found out that even though I haven’t done a split since I was a 6th grade cheerleader, my body is still capable of performing the task. The trick was getting up out of it, covered in oil…..
Eek! Never using Pinterest for beauty tricks! That sounds NOT awesome.
I’m so with you on the shaving too fast. I always cut my leg right before i need to go out somewhere. I’m always holding toilet paper to my leg with one hand trying to do my make up with the other thinking ” when will you stop bleeding!!”
Totally agree with the toilet paper! Eventually I have to put the bandaid on!
I love this. The clogging of the shower drain from de-fuzzing after winter this year was of scary proportions. Then I sat in church later that day observing all the sprouted bits I’d missed. Like a badly mown lawn.
Oh god! Yes. I didn’t shave almost the entire winter. When we went to Florida, it was like…bad. Really really bad. I had to do it twice.
I should not be allowed near scissors when I am having a bad hair day, I’ve made them worse. So much worse. More than a few times. maybe sometime in the next 45 years I’ll learn . . .
Hahahaha. Yeah…I’ve done that a time or two.