Brian: I got you something.
Me: Oh yeah?
Brian: It’s smaller than a bread box.
(I look in the bag expecting Peeps or Cadbury Cream Eggs or Cadbury Mini Eggs or jellybeans.)
Me: *Squeal*
Me: I ran out of these when we were in Florida!
Brian: Wait, you had these?
Me: Duh. (I look at the side package.) No! OMG THESE ARE WAY BETTER.
Brian: WOAH. I have to take them back. There’s some serious Mickey abuse going on. I didn’t see that in the store.
Me: No! It’s just a love pat. Look! They’re kissing! And it’s pink!
Brian: Abuse. That’s horrible.
Me: LOVE. Tap. (I pet his cheek and shout “Smack!”) See. Love.
Brian: Now don’t go hurting yourself on purpose to wear these.
Me: *Silence*
Brian: If you want to wear one, you can just put it on. You don’t need any real injuries. OK?
Me: What should I chop for dinner?
Brian: I don’t know…HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!
6 Responses
My first thought when I hear “smaller than a breadbox” is RING BOX. C’mon Brian….
Oy vey.
Poor Brian. I’m sure keeping you out of trouble is the same thing as trying to herd cats.
Something like that…
Remember this when you have children and you’re yelling at them for eating all of the gummy vitamins and using all of the mickey/sponge bob/neon bandaids in the house to paper their knees and elbows.
HAHAHAHAHA! I have to tell BRIAN not to eat all of the gummy vitamins!!