OK, so my plan has always been to keep my workplace shenanegins off the blog. You know, separate church and state.
Except that I just can’t keep the humor of the best job I’ve ever had away from you guys. Because you’re missing out and only getting the scraps of my life. And that’s not fair to you. Especially to those of you who braved two rounds of unemployment with me over the last year and a half.
Because my co-workers say things like: “I can’t get to hotlegsusa.com. What kind of workplace is this? I just want to look up pantyhose!”
Without further ado, welcome to my workplace.
I work at a pretty huge company. In one of their boutique satellite offices in the city. I am a part of a small, but growing team and this summer we have the pleasure of hosting an adorable intern. It’s like in college when you hosted a scooter (wow, never wrote about that…give me time friends. A scooter is a high school senior that spends a weekend in the dorms and you “scoot” them around and get them to do fun things) only with less peer pressure. Well sort of.
Although I think it’s supposed to be the other way around. You see, this morning, I purchased a pair of these:
And it’s ALL BECAUSE OF THE INTERN.
We were talking about shoes with lights and wheelie sneaks and I found these shoes on sale. And the intern was all, “Monday morning. You better be rolling in on those babies.” And I told her, “It’s going to hurt…” And she said, “I feel like this is going to be some high quality entertainment. Mostly because you’re probably going to fall…and I want to be there…to catch you, of course.”
And with that logic, I couldn’t say no. Because you guys love a good falling story, you sick little sadists, you.
Brian’s response (he doesn’t know I have already bought them yet…): “That just… seems like a bad idea for you…”
16 Responses
I know what would happen if I had a pair of those shoes. I’d spend more time splayed out on the ground than standing upright. Hopefully you are a bit more graceful than me.
probably not, but it sure will be fun trying.
you.are.going.to.break.your.neck.
yes.
OMG those things are so incredibly bad for your back! But yes, it will be funny. And they are cute shoes if they were just regular running shoes. Btw….email me screen shot of message you get for my blog. I’m not porn!!! I’m going to email them to get them to re-classify my site. I’m not porn dammit!
PORN!
I am excited. Get ready for my first ever full on Vlog.
Oh Christine! Has Brian lived through you on crutches yet? You’re not the most pleasant… I’m seriously going to have a panic attack. But at the same time? I WANT A PAIR!!!!!!!!
No, he has not. I am a ROCKSTAR on crutches. When I choose to use them. They’re on saaaaaaaaaaaaale. You can bring them to BlogHer!
Tempting though they are, I’m afraid common sense is going to have to win this one. I’m currently struggling with closet space, I cannot rationalize heelies LOL.
If I can rationalize them, anyone can.
I predict a Scooby Doo-esque montage with you rolling in one door, out another in the completely opposite direction, and then being chased by the abandoned fairground caretaker who’s dressed like a zombie.
Holy shit. That’s brilliant. I think I’m going to try to make that happen.
You’ll never miss the train again now that you have wheels. Also, the Scooby idea is awesome. We can bring Scooby-snacks. It will be epic.
I am so excited! I hope they come today!!
My friend my money is on you getting on the news. You see, you will be wheeling uncontrollably downtown when two scary bank robbers will fly out of the bank, just as you fly by… That’s right you are going to be a hero on Monday. “Wheelie Woman takes down the mafia’s best two bank robbers.” WHOOOO HOOO!! You can send the money to my Paypal account folks!
This is an excellent plan. I’m going to be a hero on wheels. It’s brilliant.