Me, Myself, and the Bouquet

I am a participant in the Amazon Affiliate program and other affiliate programs. This post may contain affiliate links which earn me a few dollars to help maintain the cost of running this blog. See my disclosure page for more info.

Dear Lyssa of Psychobabble,

Recently, you announced your online wedding to Shirtless Ryan Gosling (henceforth in this post and future posts as SRG). I am so utterly happy for you that I can’t begin to find the right words.

Of course, I was also incredibly disappointed that as your future sister-in-law in the Shirtless family, I wasn’t automatically invited to be a bridesmaid. Even moreso, I was very sad to discover that I was going to have to DUKE IT OUT to catch the bouquet. This is emotionally difficult for me, since…well…you know how I feel about my ~~imaginary~~ internet boyfriend Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe and what catching the bouquet would mean to me us.

Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe Photoshopped — Aren’t we a cute couple?

And so, I’ve compiled this photo blog post for you, Lyssa…to make the right decision.

Because I have bouquet toss HISTORY. I mean…the first time I caught the bouquet, the bride’s sister was all whine whine whine “IIIIII wanted to catch my sister’s bouquet” so I was all wine wine wine, “FINE.”

After that, catching the bouquet was a competition. One I was determined to win. At least, in the weddings I stood up in. And one or two others…

The first two weddings were competitions with Katie (who I beat out both times and she STILL got married before me…)

Bouquet Toss Wedding — Katie and I were both vying for this bouquet, since we both gave the MOH speech.

Bouquet toss drama — I wish I had the awesome picture, BROOKE, that really went with this wedding. I was airborn and vicious and victorious all at the same time…Again, Katie and I were both hoping for a piece of the action. I think it’s because I’m bigger than her that I always win…

funny bridesmaid photos — I make an excellent and FUN bridesmaid…I’ll get you liquored up and make you take funny photos…BEFORE the reception. This bride had a married bridesmaid directing her where to throw the bouquet (where I was standing) because I may or may not have threatened physical harm…

bouquet drama — This was when Katie got married. She practically handed me the bouquet. It probably didn’t help that my ex-boyfriend’s fiance was standing right next to me…

Bouquet toss — At her bachelorette party, I told her I was vicious and should probably catch her bouquet…I’m sure it helped that I was one of 2 of our friends still unmarried…hopefully Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe will fix that after YOUR wedding, Lyssa…

Bouquet Toss Winner Halloween Costume — A few years ago, I went as the bouquet toss winner for Halloween. You’ll note the crutches (Yes, crutches AND high heels, all for the sake of Halloween, LYSSA), the bruising, the scratches on my arms…the fake nails glued into the dress…the bloody nose…you can’t see the ripped out earring with blood on the other ear…the ripped to shreds bridesmaid dress. Yep. All me. All true. Make it happen again.

Dear Blog Friends,

Please tell Lyssa that you think I should be her bouquet toss winner. Because it’s not about what winning the bouquet MEANS. It’s about taking out the competition.

Thank you for your time. I know that SRG and you will be very happy together. But happier still if I’m there. Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe and I hope you make the right decision.

Quirky Chrissy

A dreamer and a klutz, Chrissy is the sole proprietor of this blog. Her lifelong aspirations include owning a cheese shop, writing several books, and being played by someone famous in the movie version of her life.

Follow Me and You'll See...

8 Responses

Lyssapants says:

March 30, 2013 at 12:56 pm

This is amazing, as are you!! I admire your willingness to inflict harm on my other guests for your personal gain.

Reply
1. Quirky Chrissy says:
  
  March 30, 2013 at 4:31 pm
  
  Why thank you kindly. I’d do anything for your bouquet! Almost…
  
  Reply
2. Daddio2 says:
  
  March 30, 2013 at 9:42 pm
  
  I know Chrissy would like to catch the bouquet but Katie has trained penguins to run interference for her. Gonna be tough to beat
  
  Reply
  1. Lyssapants says:
    
    March 30, 2013 at 11:35 pm
    
    Wow, this is gonna be fierce.
    
    Reply
  2. Quirky Chrissy says:
    
    March 31, 2013 at 8:07 am
    
    DAD! Katie’s already married. AND she’s the flower girl! NOOOOOOO!!!!
    
    Reply
Punky Coletta says:

March 31, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Oh my gosh, that Halloween costume is such a great idea! Before I read the caption, I thought there was some major physical action over that bouquet!

Reply
1. Quirky Chrissy says:
  
  March 31, 2013 at 9:06 pm
  
  It was one of the most fun costumes I’ve ever put together!
  
  Reply
Words for Worms says:

April 1, 2013 at 8:37 am

I was once a fierce competitor for bouquet toss… Unless of course, I was against Chrissy. That girl is INTENSE. Lyssa, whoever else is in the running had best be stepping back.

Reply