Show of hands: Who drank beer in high school? Anyone do it so much that they needed to mention it 30 times in a job interview?

I did a lot of things at the young, innocent age of seventeen. But none of them were illegal. And none of them caused me to blackout. And I’m not even trying to get appointed to the Supreme Court.

A non-exhaustive list of things I did my senior year of high school

I went to school dances

I attended parties that DIDN’T involve alcohol

I didn’t drink beer

I worked my tail off at school

I got into a good college

I didn’t drink beer

I was an athlete

I had inside jokes with my friends

I didn’t drink beer

I went on dates with boys

I filled travel mugs with hot chocolate and hands with fresh baked cookies and, together, my best friend and I drove past our ex boyfriends’ houses

I didn’t like beer

I dressed in a way that made me feel pretty, which was sometimes too provocative for the school administrators

I went to the under-21 club without my parents’ knowledge

I still didn’t drink beer

I kissed my boyfriend. A lot.

I joked with my friends using sexual innuendo

I didn’t like beer

I dominated week-long games of Monopoly (and maybe I cheated)

I played Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever

I didn’t want beer

I went ghost hunting at all the most-haunted spots in Chicago

I skipped senior prom because junior prom was just okay

I still didn’t like beer

I attended football and basketball games and went to TGIFridays afterward for chicken fingers and honey mustard

I went to theater parties and hung out with band kids

I didn’t want beer

I went on a Christian youth group trip to Florida 

I went to Las Vegas

I still didn’t want beer

I had co-ed sleepovers at my house

I hosted an unsupervised New Year’s Eve party with sparkling grape juice

I didn’t need beer

I can’t imagine a world where everyone in high school drinks. I suppose I should be thankful for my very rare high school experience in which I retained my innocence for a few years longer than everyone else. What did you do in high school?

Disclaimer: I was a super good kid in high school, but once I hit college, I discovered that I would, in fact, drink beer. This post is not designed to showcase me as holier than thou. Humor is a cornerstone of my life, and my intent is solely to amuse. And also to see how many times I can mention beer in a blog post*.

*18