I’ve been telling stories here for more than 5 years now. Sometimes, I’ll get an idea and run with it, publishing almost immediately. Other times, I start something, but can’t quite find the right words. And more times still, I’ll think of what I think would be a fantastic fucking title, only to forget what I wanted to say entirely. Luckily, I’ve saved some of these titles, and I thought I’d share some of my favorites. Maybe you can offer some inspiration, and I can get these word babies in the air.

Titles in time

• How to get a thigh gap and other pertinent answers from the universe
• Meet my uhhh new boyfriend Ryan and wife Mandi
• What Hillary is doing for little girls
• Screenshots of a year in my life
• All the fucks I have to give
• Lectured for laughing at a humor conference
• That one time I went BATSHIT crazy or why my life is like a Taylor Swift song
• There are people who hate me and other confessions
• Things I wish I did before I left my old job
• Let’s talk about narcissism
• On parenting, from a non-parent
• Let’s talk about your kinky group on Facebook
• When it comes to red light tickets, the internet fucking lies
• Giving more fucks this year
• Clark Griswold is my spirit animal
• How to passive-aggressively handle passive aggressiveness
• We built this city…we built this city on rock…to roll?
• That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage
• People, for the love of all things logical, look shit up before you post it: A lesson on clickbait
• How many how-to videos does a girl need to watch to figure out how to put together a freakin’ mop?
• How I ended up in the worst part of Orlando

What do you think, guys? Any of these titles look delectable?