Another ex-boyfriend story for your reading pleasure…
When I was fresh out of college and “on the outs” with the on-again/off-again boyfriend (Rockabilly), I was jumping heavily into the online dating scene. This was in 2005, before it really hit big and fast. Of course, I was still sort of seeing Rockabilly, but he kept pushing me away, so I kept looking elsewhere.
While Rockabilly lived in Peoria, and I was trying to get a job in Peoria, I thought it best to find a new boyfriend in Peoria as well. Cue The Pike. The one and only real-life ginger that I ever dated. He was tall and sweet and seemed intelligent…and he kissed like a rockstar. I figured I’d keep him around for a bit.
The Pike had graduated from Bradley at the same time I did, and he was a former Pi Kappa Alpha (Pike). He was also a hockey player, so he was super strong and seemed totally bad ass to me…At first.
Within two weeks, he was asking me (over the phone) to be exclusive. He would drive all the way up to Chicago just to take me out on a date, and then drive all the way back home to Peoria the same night.
I was a wicked bitch, because even though he was technically my boyfriend, I didn’t want him to come to my home. I had very strict dating rules that included a meeting the family clause (this was supposed to only happen after I had been with someone long enough to know that he wasn’t going anywhere for a while). So he would meet me in Joliet (thus also minimizing his drive time to see me without making me drive all the way to Peoria.
I would also drive down to Peoria for job interviews and to hang out with my girls…and as a second thought, I would go on a date with The Pike. He lived with his grandma and little brother, so I opted not to stay with him while I was down there. One night we went out on a multi-date with two of my besties (Katie and Claire) and Claire’s BF/now hubs. Katie’s BF/now hubs was living elsewhere at the time, so he could only be there in spirit. The girls thought he was OK, but they judged him because Katie was single girl at the table, and The Pike didn’t offer to pick up the check. Really, the problem was that I just wasn’t that into him.
Strangely enough, at this dinner, Rockabilly decided to express his jealousy crazy by texting and calling all three of us, asking what was going on. As a dude who kept pushing me away, it was shocking (and gave me those stupid happy butterflies) to see his reaction. It was then that I realized my purpose for dating The Pike had very little to do with The Pike. We dated for a few months, and during that time, I learned a few things.
- Apparently a lot of hockey dudes shave. (Like shave everything shave). Gross. So I’ll never know if the carpet matched the drapes.
- Dating guys who brag about shit is not cool. The Pike would often brag about how much money he was making at his multiple jobs, and unwittingly make me feel bad that I couldn’t find a job. Then he would insist on going halvsies.
- If you’re not into PDA with someone, it’s entirely possible that you’re not into that someone. I mean, there’s definitely a level of PDA that is acceptable vs. unacceptable…but if you don’t even want to hold their hand…they aren’t the dude for you.
So after his last trip to the Chi, in which we met in Romeoville with his little brother and my buddy, Cletus in tow, and ventured to the Museum of Science and Industry for an afternoon of museum fun at my fave Chicago Museum. Cletus still teases me about this afternoon, and laughs whenever it’s mentioned. Not because of The Pike, but because of my lack of feelings for The Pike…and how I non-verbally expressed the feelings. Of course, The Pike was a little awkward, too, though…gettin’ all PDA with me when PDA was SO. not. my. thing. He was all into me…but he was also The Marrying Guy. He wanted to settle down and make babies. Like relatively soon. I was definitely not there with him. I knew it was only a matter of time before L words started flying…and I feared L words.
I broke up with The Pike over the phone. I told him that I still had feelings for my ex (true) and that I just couldn’t get over him (true). I led The Pike to believe that I would be getting back together with my Rockabilly, even though out of spite and jealousy, he too had gone and gotten himself a girlfriend.
Within a month, The Pike had a new girlfriend…Less than a year after I allegedly broke his heart, he was married…and a few years later, he was divorced. Was anyone else surprised by this?